feeling discouraged today...

Today....oh, today.

Waking up, both of the girls are running 100 degree fevers. And, this is the second day for it. This is when I wonder...do I take them to the doctor? I am sure many other mothers wonder this. When do you know that it is time for real medicine? I personally do not like medicine. I do understand that there is a time for it, but I also am very aware of the term 'overmedicated'. I try to ride that fine line, and use it when it is completely necessary, but I definitely do not rely on it. It makes me so sad to see my girls not feeling well. I am used to happy, bubbly, loud and crazy little girls, and when they are just laying around not up to anything but juice and Dora, it breaks my heart. Hopefully tomorrow will be a new day, and they will wake up feeling just fine.

I went to look at the house on Vintage Hill Cove with my mom today. I was aware before we got there that it was a short sale, but still went with an open mind. Walking in, and looking around, I noticed that this house needed a LOT of work. It makes me sad to see someone taking such a huge investment and just trashing it. The walls are scuffed up, there are holes in walls, the carpet needed replaced, doors on the cabinets were missing...it was a mess. On the positive side, the house is huge. It has over 2200 sf, and there is an additional 900sf in the basement, that we could finish someday. The yard is very large, and there are 4 bedrooms upstairs. But, we could easily dump 10 grand into it. Moving in the first year would be just us putting more, and more money into it.

So, this is the problem that I am facing. Do I pick a house that I am less than thrilled with only because it is in the right school district, or do I pick a house that I love, and live in the area that I know as home, and be in the wrong school district? What a hard decision. I want my children to go to a school were this is every opportunity for them, but in order to live there we have to live in a tiny house, or live in a house that is a neighborhood that has 1/3 of the homes in foreclosure or short sales. Do we buy a house there, and risk resale value?

These are decisions that are so hard to make.

But above all I must remind myself that two years ago today, I would have never thought we would have even been able to buy a home. We thought we would have lived in apartments or rented homes for the rest of our lives. We thought we would never know the satisfaction of owning something this important.... and now we can. So, more than anything I am thankful for that.

If we could do whatever we wanted, and sat aside logic, we would be living downtown around lakeside park. It is so beautiful down there. Saturated with culture, and individuality. Every house is different, and has a story. Each house has character... You can walk everywhere, there are parks and people that I feel I can identify with more than those in northwest Allen county. Living more downtown reminds me of who I am, and who I was, and who I want to be. I feel closer to people who are artistic and open minded, and live a different way of life. I want to be close to that again. We have a lot of decisions to make.

ts sounding like a wonderful night for a bottle of red wine and conversation.

On the upside, we went to the Mandarin today. Nothing makes me happier than a hot and sour lunch special. The girls had fun throwing coins into the fountain and looking at the fish tank. I love that they remind me that it is OK just to be excited about fish...and pennies. Sometimes I think my girls are wiser than me.

Just look at these smiles...