i wore jeans...

Today was a day for laundry and play dates...and realization.

i felt very accomplished today...laundry is almost all done. all 9 loads of it. but i do know that when i wake up, there will be more, but it is just a small yay for me.

the girls and i had a play date with lish and her girls. im sure delaney and ruby enjoyed themselves, and i needed it too. i love getting together with other girls about their age. its so interesting to see my kids get so involved with pretending. it makes me remember playing like that. what happens to adults that make us loose this gift? i wish for one day that i could honestly think i was sleeping beauty...and i ate marshmallows all day and rode a horse named buttercup. how wonderful? what an awesome escape from reality. i think that people would be happier as a whole, that we had play time. take an hour an afternoon, dress up like a princess, or ninja...and get down. i know that it would be a welcome stress reliever.

i wore jeans today too. kind of amazing for me. most of the time, i just hang out around the house in yoga pants. im a large fan of comfort, so when im going out somewhere new, with jeans on...its a big deal. so, another yay for me.

i had so many conversations with lish tonight about the kids growing up. just around the corner comes school. i have these little moments in the day, with the fact that my kids are growing up, kind of slaps me in the face.

today it was....seeing ruby in lip gloss....

nothing too substantial...but for some reason it got to me today.

questions have been brought up by them over the last couple of weeks, that have been so hard to handle. the big thing going on with my family and friends lately has been divorce. try to explain that to a three year old that its possible for people to not be in love anymore was just devastating. its sad to see a small amount of beautiful ignorance leave everyday. i knew this was inevitable, but couldnt it last a little longer? the other thing delaney has gotten curious about lately is death. what?! and how does a three year old process death? we watched the movie Up not too long ago, and in the movie, the old man's wife passes away. she asked me what that meant, and i explained to her that sometimes when people get really old, and sick, and doctors cant fix them, then they die. although not extremely sure what it means to really not see anyone anymore, she made the connection that when you get old you die. 'oh' she says. about 10 min later, on our drive home, out of the blue, she burst into tears. i asked her what was wrong and she explained to me that grandpa told her tonight that he wears glasses because he is getting old, and his eyes dont work as well anymore. upon rethinking this, she decided that grandpa was getting old, and that meant he would die soon, so she was sobbing so hard, it was hard to calm her down. i didnt know what to say....comfort was obvious, trying to explain that my dad wasnt that old, and that she didnt have to worry about that for a long time. from there, i couldnt say much else, it was just a time for her to learn this lesson about life. sitting in the front seat, helplessly looking back at my daughter, watching her eyes as she processed this, she began to look older. why do sadness and learning age you? but being born is just as normal as dieing. this began time to explain to her the importance of living so completely everyday. this is next on my list.

now, the day is over, and im in the basement, having a glass of wine, and playing online euchre. its the time to clear my head, rejuvenate, and determine myself to get through tomorrow. lead by example, and inspire her to leave a positive legacy.