another day done

Another day is gone, and I have successfully put healthy, happy kids to bed. I got to entertain my best friend, Lauren, who I see entirely too little, and kissed my husband. I say that I am doing pretty well for myself. This all I can ask out of life. Lauren has been promoted to a store manager at Starbucks, and she is in love. I can say that she is healing for her dad's passing last fall. I feel confidence in the fact that I have learned that people can heal. What a horrible thing that happened...but how can you explain to someone that has been through so much pain, that they inspire you. Its not possible...but Lauren inspires me on levels I thought were unimaginable. And in teaching a friend of life, you learn much about your own. I have discovered about myself that I love to teach someone something new. I feel that when you explain yourself to someone...you make that which you are explaining that much more steadfast in you. I love that....I cannot get enough of it.

Today's mood is that I am in love. Although I only saw my husband today, I love him more. I know that he will be home tomorrow morning for his time off and it feels like Christmas. That feeling of excitement and anticipation, that you can barely sleep? That is the feeling I get for my husband...I assume that is a good quality. There is no one that I'd rather do life with.

My girls were beautiful today. I couldn't help but notice how long my Delaney's eyelashes have gotten, and how blue Ruby's eyes are. I couldn't help but laugh when Delaney told Ruby that she needed to make better decisions...and she is three. What much does she know about decisions? And we read Ladybug Girl! for a bedtime story. And made their beds. We worked in the yard today. I mowed and the girls helped me plant the new basil. We planted Moonbeam Coriopsis in front of our rosebud tree and I am concidering planted lots of purple coneflower in between my boxwoods...and who likes those anyway? I mowed the yard, and Delaney watered the plants. She gets this look on her face that screams of how proud of herself she is. What a unabashed quality for someone this tiny....I love it. When a person looks that proud at my age, they are assumed as pompous. What I love about my husband is that he gets that same look on his face when he has done something he is proud of... only with him, I enjoy the pureness of the moment. He is truly proud, and is matched with the feeling of excitement of someone enjoying his thoughtfulness. What a beautiful similarity between the two. Delaney's dimple in her chin is more pronounced than ever. She looks like Chevy Chase....how wonderful is that! Just like her daddy. Ruby....oh Ruby, i wonder where she comes from. I don't see myself in her, except when I stand above her, and look down...them sometimes, how her nose looks...reminds me of me. She is talking more than ever...and all I need is a video recorder....I don't want to miss one moment of their silliness....It keeps my thirsty.

I am in love...what can I say? What other moment do you feel this alive?

Two Things I have Noticed Today...

I have days that I seldom talk to adults... most days, I find myself occuping the day with talk of soup, zebras, Yo Gabba Gabba, peaches, and blankies...

So, that leaves plenty of time to have conversations in my head. Not in the crazy way... in the pondering way...

Two random things I noticed today:

1. I love gardening. We have always lived in apartments, and I have kept mini spice gardens, but since we have moved in the house, I have been inspired to do it on a grand scale. The neighborhood we have moved to has such a strong community feeling, it has made me rethink many things I believe, and stand steadfast in the ones that endure, and it has made me become interested in new things. Jon and I are trying to make small changes, one day at a time. We try to buy all our produce at Farmer's Markets, and recently we are buying our meat from a local farmer in butler. A few months ago we bought a half a cow...no matter how gross it sounds, the taste is amazing. And the produce...oh my goodness...it was like eating a peach for the first time. No more supermarket peaches that taste like dust...

This year is the trial year for seeing what kind of sun my yard has, and to see what plants grow best. I have a small garden now, and I cannot wait to next spring to transform the back quarter of my yard into an area where I can enrich my children's diets tenfold. And even more amazing...I feel a huge connection with the earth.... the earth, sun, and water... it feels so good.

I have 2 tomato plants...2 heirloom tomato plants (purple and gold), sweet basil, Serrano peppers, lemon basil, and lettuce leaf basil to make pesto.... I need cilantro....

2. My hands are starting to look older. My hands are still beautiful to me. Hands have always fascinated me...especially in those who create and are mothers. If I ever meet you, and you wonder if I am staring at your hands... you are probably right. The saying that the eyes are the window of the soul, is backwards to me... i think the hands are. I imagine what hands look like as they sew, paint, throw pottery, tattoo, and chefs slicing onions (my husband in particular).... I love how artists have a natural way of moving their hands... without the hands, there would be no art. And the more wrinkles, and scars, the better the creations...I have noticed that my hands no longer look brand new.... and as many people may be sad of this...I welcome it.

ahhhhh....

I am up at 11:36 on a Monday night. This alone thing is something to get used to. For 8 days a month, Jon works nights. Its hard because I am not at all used to being alone. On a normal day, I am alone about 10 minutes a day...and that sometimes is rare. And lucky, because that means that I got to pee alone, and maybe switch the laundry. And this is just the girls. When Jon is home, we are attached at the hip, and that means there is 0 mins that I am alone. It feels weird. The only noise is music, or sometimes TV. So, this means that I listen to every sound...


Every....little.....sound. And it drives me crazy. I have these visions of me being highly productive at these moments, and why shouldn't I be? I have nothing to stand in my way of accomplishing anything....but, these are the times where I just cannot figure out what to do with myself. I stare at the TV....or the computer....but, I am sure with in time, I will figure it out. I won't think twice about it...but that makes me feel discouraged. I enjoy every minute of the day that i am not alone. I enjoy every second that I have with my kids...and my husband. I cannot imagine what it will be like someday when my kids are grown... and my husband is working nights....or even what it is like to be 80. When I dream of these things, I remind myself to Slow Down Lissa.... take it slow. There is nothing to rush to... there is nothing worth not slowing down and enjoying the times that I am surrounded. When my children love me unconditionally... and they make me laugh, and my husband, who I cannot begin to explain how he moves me...someone who makes it unbearably easy to be me. He, is the reason I know my strength... he is the reason I know my worth, and he is the reason that I know that I have now limits... He is the one that reminds me to keep on that path. I love him...and cannot image 0 minutes of the day without him.
(and now for a pathetic add to lighten the mood...)

Life is so amazing, and I cannot understand why it is impossible for people to not find the wonder in the moment.


Why is it that it is ok for people to walk through life to see the obstacles, and dwell on the fact that there are too many challenges to overcome. Why not invite those challenges with open arms and realize that any moment now, it will all be over, and you will be stronger and wiser when it is. What a beautiful thing...strength, wisdom.... if that is the end result...not matter how painful... close your eyes, keep steady.... it is coming.


that alone is worth celebrating....


Perhaps its time to open some Cabernet....that way i can find comfort and sleep.

in the middle of the night

i, of course, cannot sleep. its early morning now...and i am up.

i wish i knew what it was like to be an early to bed, early to rise kind of person. i feel the most

alive between 11am to 3 am. that's it, if its out of those bounds, i am useless.

i have been sewing today. i have been on a whole mess of ideas. i think i should get a to do list. maybe that would keep a scatterbrain like me, on point. the theme of my summer/fall collection is Nature Silhouettes. i cannot get enough nature lately. not the kind of hiking, camping kind of way, but in an admiration kind of way. the things that catch my eye lately, are things found in nature. birds are one specific example of grace. i love the gentle wings of a birdie. and peacocks....just beautiful. can you believe something like that just, exists? we have nothing to do with it...it's bright bold colors, and patters...and it's iridescence...astounding. they remind me of my father; times at the zoo when i was a child, images of him hopping into restricted areas to gather peacock feather for me. they just make me feel like i am home.

and i take joy in the silly things....an octopus. and humpback whales...and wind. and wise owls. I love all these things. my new set will feature these items in silhouette form., without much detail. just to show the shape of them. some are realistic, and some are exaggerated.

i designed a new clutch today. keeping in form, i have named it the Lola Clutch. it is a basic miniature form of the Hazel Bag, but with a envelope flap and a focal embellishment. these are meant to be for fun... very colorful, and showcasing antique buttons and brooches, or bark cloth covered buttons. what a little treasure to store make up in.

tomorrow, i hope to put together the other three purses i have in my studio. they are three shells that need liners, and storage.

i am talking myself into believing it will be a productive day.

i only have the week to get ready for the barr street market. this is my first year doing this, and i have no clue how it will go. i am always nervous, as i have found that every year that goes by i grow into a socially awkward adult.

cheers...

Sure has been a while....

wow...long time. life has a way of getting away from me. july 11th..a beautiful sunday morning. a wonderful day to create. i will be sewing today, trying to remember to take small breaks thru the day to read to the girls, or perhaps help them start a new art project. i am filling full of inspiration this last month. a new neighborhood does that to you... i find the most enchanting thing is new scenery. my favorite part of a vacation is purely seeing something new... new trees, new buildings, new people. simple things like that make my day. now, with the move, i get to partake in that each day. a new bedroom to wake up in, new kitchen to make coffee in....and it smells different. a lovely house...and one of the things that i am selfishly so thankful for, is my studio. i have a whole room to create in....my very own sewing room. i have everything i need in there to create anything i want. how inspiring... i feel that i will have forgotton so much of the last few months due to the lack of blogging, so i am vowing to not let that happen again.....i want to cherish every second of whats to come....bask in the wonder of it all.....

This is why I'm thankful...

Life is so Good....honestly.

I was counting my blessings this morning, I couldn't find anything to be upset about. Here they are, I wanted to post them, so that every time that I log in, I can remember.

1. My husband has a job....and not just any job, a well paying job with room for advancement.

2. We have health insurance. I have such peace of mind knowing that we can get medical attention whenever we need it, and we can afford it, it will not cause us to go bankrupt.

3. My children are healthy. In the history of them, the only thing that has every happened, is that they have both had one ear infection, and one upper respiratory infection. That is it...

4. Jon and I are healthy. We have not major health problems that require more than daily mes.

5. We are buying a home. I can't believe this one... In an economy like this, we are actually buying a house, not loosing one. I am so thankful for this...

6. I have self esteem. I believe in myself, I love myself, and I know that I can do anything.

7. I believe in my husband. He is a hardworking, patient, loving man, and good father.

8. My girls make me laugh. Everyday..... I heard that the average 6 year old laughs about 500 times a day... I guess that makes me a 6 year old, because that is my average day.

9. Jon and I both have both sets of parents. My parents are healthy, and happy, and have homes, and health insurance... His parents are healthy, and happy, and have health insurance, and they both have stable jobs.... For this we are truly thankful.

10. I have a wonderful brother who is educated, and hardworking, and makes me laugh, my sister is healthy, and a good mom, and Jon's brother is growing into a very smart little man.

I watch the news, and I think....Oh, My, God......

What am I ever upset about?

What do I ever have to feel fear about?

What do I have to feel lonely about?

All I have is to wake up, kiss my husband, hug my kids, and love my life.

Through this all, I have learned that 'things' don't make me happy. Purses, and make-up and clothes do not make me feel whole.... Nice cars and beautiful furniture are wonderful, but they are not necessary. What makes me happy is the love of my family and friends, and the comfort that everything is O.K. at the moment.

But I must not forget that all of this can go away with a blink of an eye.

Which is why I appreciate it everyday.....