ahhhhh....

I am up at 11:36 on a Monday night. This alone thing is something to get used to. For 8 days a month, Jon works nights. Its hard because I am not at all used to being alone. On a normal day, I am alone about 10 minutes a day...and that sometimes is rare. And lucky, because that means that I got to pee alone, and maybe switch the laundry. And this is just the girls. When Jon is home, we are attached at the hip, and that means there is 0 mins that I am alone. It feels weird. The only noise is music, or sometimes TV. So, this means that I listen to every sound...


Every....little.....sound. And it drives me crazy. I have these visions of me being highly productive at these moments, and why shouldn't I be? I have nothing to stand in my way of accomplishing anything....but, these are the times where I just cannot figure out what to do with myself. I stare at the TV....or the computer....but, I am sure with in time, I will figure it out. I won't think twice about it...but that makes me feel discouraged. I enjoy every minute of the day that i am not alone. I enjoy every second that I have with my kids...and my husband. I cannot imagine what it will be like someday when my kids are grown... and my husband is working nights....or even what it is like to be 80. When I dream of these things, I remind myself to Slow Down Lissa.... take it slow. There is nothing to rush to... there is nothing worth not slowing down and enjoying the times that I am surrounded. When my children love me unconditionally... and they make me laugh, and my husband, who I cannot begin to explain how he moves me...someone who makes it unbearably easy to be me. He, is the reason I know my strength... he is the reason I know my worth, and he is the reason that I know that I have now limits... He is the one that reminds me to keep on that path. I love him...and cannot image 0 minutes of the day without him.
(and now for a pathetic add to lighten the mood...)

Life is so amazing, and I cannot understand why it is impossible for people to not find the wonder in the moment.


Why is it that it is ok for people to walk through life to see the obstacles, and dwell on the fact that there are too many challenges to overcome. Why not invite those challenges with open arms and realize that any moment now, it will all be over, and you will be stronger and wiser when it is. What a beautiful thing...strength, wisdom.... if that is the end result...not matter how painful... close your eyes, keep steady.... it is coming.


that alone is worth celebrating....


Perhaps its time to open some Cabernet....that way i can find comfort and sleep.