Hello... my long lost friend....

So, I have weeks at a time that I feel inspired to write, create, feel, and love....

Then there are weeks at a time where I feel stagnant.

I believe that I have just woken up for a stagnant few weeks. I feel like I loose time...like I wake up a week later, and think...why did I just robot this last week? Why did I not take the time to feel every moment, and cherish every second? How could I let a few weeks of my life slip by unnoticed? These are the moments that I feel disappointed in myself, but its only in the moments of realization of what has happened, can I begin to change. So, good morning world, I am with you again.

Busy Busy Busy

Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do... but how much love we put in that action. -Mother Teresa

I have been creating a home this past month. Nothing is as satisfying to me that to create a sanctuary from the world for my family. My home is where we can shut out the stresses of the world, and love each other selfishly....
I have been making my home in two ways. One, in the sense of love and commitment and community. And two, a beautiful space to inspire creativity and comfort.
I am so happy that my daughters are finally settled. They have their bedroom, and play area, and backyard, that they know that they won't be leaving anytime soon. Delaney asked me a few months ago if we were going to be moving soon. We have lived in so many place since she has been born, that she has come to expect being unsettled.
Finally, a place. A consistent place. A place she will grow up, begin school, bring her friends, her first boyfriend, and learn to drive...and maybe even leave to start her own life. I want her and Ruby to think of this place forever with fondness for their experiences and their childhood. To remember all those important firsts going through life, and originating here. I am truly proud that Jon and I can provide this for them.
We also have been creating the experience of home through colors, and textures. Each area has a feeling, and a story. The living room is a invigorating blue with dark furniture and splashes of bright raspberry rooted with blacks and whites. There is family pictures and bird silhouettes. This is the place we live, so I wanted to be be calm, but fun...like us. The dining room is a deep peacock blue green. The built in shelving unit's back splash is painted a high gloss black to show off my prized milk glass collection. There is many silhouettes, and soft textures. The kitchen is painted raspberry with a high gloss back splash, and white cabinets adorned with modern nickel hardware. The counters are pewter gray. The window above the sink is flanked with black fabric with white seagull silhouettes. And I love how it all looks with my stainless steel appliances. My basement is my retro hideout. Deep oranges and olive greens, and chocolate browns create a feeling a tried and true space. There is quirky vases and owl statues and my vintage camera collection. My husband bought me a cool shelving unit to showcase these. I love my cameras....from the 1930s to the 1980s...so fun. The upstairs landing is a soothing gray. My studio is a deep jade green. Here I have all my oil paintings from friends. My favorite is my city scape painting done by my friend Andy Morris as a wedding present. It is an abstract view of downtown. And the amazing thing is that he painted it with a paintbrush and melted crayons....it is beautiful and reminds me why I live downtown. Our bedroom is soft gray and has touches of black and yellow. Its a modern space, but there is framed artwork from a shop on etsy of silly birds and owls that lighten the mood. And a beautiful sunburst mirror I got on clearance from Hobby Lobby and painted. I got my hands dirty and painted a canvas for above our bed called 'I felt like I had wings' a painting of plush gray love birds sitting on a branch together....simple, but I love it. Our bathroom upstairs has white wainscoting up 3/4 of the wall and the top area is painted black. I love a black bathroom....and there is a vintage charcoal sketch framed of a 1950's flapper. The girls' room is painted a cool blue with green apple and raspberry accents. Soft and feminine yet fun and energizing. The playroom is painted Melange green....with striped curtains and pom pom fringe I made.....they kind of remind me of a silly circus....
I love my home.... still a long way to go to fill the nooks and crannies....I need some more artwork painted by all of you............
Anyone interested? I would love to have a new piece painted by a friend....
Or even some photography, a silly cross-stitch? A collage? Whatever it is, I would be proud to showcase it in my home...just let me know.

Pictures to follow soon.

Today’s Daily Inspiration - Get Inspired by Dr. Wayne Dyer

Today’s Daily Inspiration - Get Inspired by Dr. Wayne Dyer

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Free Spirit...

A truly free spirit amazes me. And intimidates me. How incredibly wreckless and beautiful all at the same time. The questions I have myself are....How can you just pick and leave? What about your family? And where are you going to stay? Is it a good area? Is it more beautiful? There are so many questions...and then that person that you are asking...just brings up their head slightly...looks at you sideways...smiles...and says...i don't know...its going to be alright. What a wonderful thing to just be OK with life. No worries, what will be, will be. To just know that wherever the wind goes, you will be there and deal with the lessons as they come. What beauty in enjoying the moment.
The guy that lives across the street is just packing up and moving the Oregon. My good friend moved out there, and after seeing the pictures that her husband took, I can completely understand why...just chasing where their spirit takes them...in love with life. I admire that.
Today was productive. We got the rest of the floors ripped up. No more particle board, just hardwood. I feel connected with earth beneath me. Feeling the strength of a tree and the softness is amazing. Its a feeling of being grounded and who doesn't want that? I am happy, we just need to sand them, and stain and seal them, so its great. We will see what come of the floor that is injured. It needs so much work...so we have to bring a carpenter to fix what previous owners left behind.
I am tired, and ready to watch 'its always sunny in Philadelphia'. Ready to relax and enjoy my love. laugh and love...laugh and love...

another day done

Another day is gone, and I have successfully put healthy, happy kids to bed. I got to entertain my best friend, Lauren, who I see entirely too little, and kissed my husband. I say that I am doing pretty well for myself. This all I can ask out of life. Lauren has been promoted to a store manager at Starbucks, and she is in love. I can say that she is healing for her dad's passing last fall. I feel confidence in the fact that I have learned that people can heal. What a horrible thing that happened...but how can you explain to someone that has been through so much pain, that they inspire you. Its not possible...but Lauren inspires me on levels I thought were unimaginable. And in teaching a friend of life, you learn much about your own. I have discovered about myself that I love to teach someone something new. I feel that when you explain yourself to someone...you make that which you are explaining that much more steadfast in you. I love that....I cannot get enough of it.

Today's mood is that I am in love. Although I only saw my husband today, I love him more. I know that he will be home tomorrow morning for his time off and it feels like Christmas. That feeling of excitement and anticipation, that you can barely sleep? That is the feeling I get for my husband...I assume that is a good quality. There is no one that I'd rather do life with.

My girls were beautiful today. I couldn't help but notice how long my Delaney's eyelashes have gotten, and how blue Ruby's eyes are. I couldn't help but laugh when Delaney told Ruby that she needed to make better decisions...and she is three. What much does she know about decisions? And we read Ladybug Girl! for a bedtime story. And made their beds. We worked in the yard today. I mowed and the girls helped me plant the new basil. We planted Moonbeam Coriopsis in front of our rosebud tree and I am concidering planted lots of purple coneflower in between my boxwoods...and who likes those anyway? I mowed the yard, and Delaney watered the plants. She gets this look on her face that screams of how proud of herself she is. What a unabashed quality for someone this tiny....I love it. When a person looks that proud at my age, they are assumed as pompous. What I love about my husband is that he gets that same look on his face when he has done something he is proud of... only with him, I enjoy the pureness of the moment. He is truly proud, and is matched with the feeling of excitement of someone enjoying his thoughtfulness. What a beautiful similarity between the two. Delaney's dimple in her chin is more pronounced than ever. She looks like Chevy Chase....how wonderful is that! Just like her daddy. Ruby....oh Ruby, i wonder where she comes from. I don't see myself in her, except when I stand above her, and look down...them sometimes, how her nose looks...reminds me of me. She is talking more than ever...and all I need is a video recorder....I don't want to miss one moment of their silliness....It keeps my thirsty.

I am in love...what can I say? What other moment do you feel this alive?

Two Things I have Noticed Today...

I have days that I seldom talk to adults... most days, I find myself occuping the day with talk of soup, zebras, Yo Gabba Gabba, peaches, and blankies...

So, that leaves plenty of time to have conversations in my head. Not in the crazy way... in the pondering way...

Two random things I noticed today:

1. I love gardening. We have always lived in apartments, and I have kept mini spice gardens, but since we have moved in the house, I have been inspired to do it on a grand scale. The neighborhood we have moved to has such a strong community feeling, it has made me rethink many things I believe, and stand steadfast in the ones that endure, and it has made me become interested in new things. Jon and I are trying to make small changes, one day at a time. We try to buy all our produce at Farmer's Markets, and recently we are buying our meat from a local farmer in butler. A few months ago we bought a half a cow...no matter how gross it sounds, the taste is amazing. And the produce...oh my goodness...it was like eating a peach for the first time. No more supermarket peaches that taste like dust...

This year is the trial year for seeing what kind of sun my yard has, and to see what plants grow best. I have a small garden now, and I cannot wait to next spring to transform the back quarter of my yard into an area where I can enrich my children's diets tenfold. And even more amazing...I feel a huge connection with the earth.... the earth, sun, and water... it feels so good.

I have 2 tomato plants...2 heirloom tomato plants (purple and gold), sweet basil, Serrano peppers, lemon basil, and lettuce leaf basil to make pesto.... I need cilantro....

2. My hands are starting to look older. My hands are still beautiful to me. Hands have always fascinated me...especially in those who create and are mothers. If I ever meet you, and you wonder if I am staring at your hands... you are probably right. The saying that the eyes are the window of the soul, is backwards to me... i think the hands are. I imagine what hands look like as they sew, paint, throw pottery, tattoo, and chefs slicing onions (my husband in particular).... I love how artists have a natural way of moving their hands... without the hands, there would be no art. And the more wrinkles, and scars, the better the creations...I have noticed that my hands no longer look brand new.... and as many people may be sad of this...I welcome it.